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Recently, a student at Very Good High School has wowed the district with an early acceptance to Stanford University, despite having a record braking GPA of 0.2. With the lowest GPA the entire district has ever seen, Sammy Smarts has surpassed all expectations with admission into one of the most selective schools in the country. Perhaps the only one more surprised by this is Dorothy Dum, the district's highest achieving student of all time and class valedictorian. Dum boasts the highest GPA in district history with a cumulative GPA of 6.4, achieved by taking 12 times the number of required courses. Dum is also a model citizen, volunteering over 12 hours a week to knit sweaters for endangered orangutans. She has also managed to find a cure for alzheimer's at the age of 12. Smarts on the other hand boasts the singular achievement of having played soccer for 1 year before being cut from the team due to absence from all practices. Yet what sets these two students apart is their individual achievement in standardized testing. Smarts managed a perfect score on the SAT and ACT while Dum barely made national benchmark. In this shocking turn of events, we must wonder how Smarts was ever able to achieve such exemplary scores after such poor academic performance overall. With the recent scandal of instagram star Jolivia Tade receiving acceptance to USC after her parents paid her way through, it may of importance that Smarts also comes from an affluent family of obscure fish habitat film producers. Did Smarts also pay his way through? We may never know the truth, but if a good, honest student like Dorothy Dum does not get accepted and a trust-fund slacker like Sammy Smarts does, then we must truly step back and reevaluate.

By Nadia and Archana